Glitchy Heaven: Friends In Need
by EgixBacon
Summary: A freak accident results in SMG4 and Fishy Boopkins being transported to Charlie's world! No time for fun and games, though - there's a crime that needs getting to the bottom of first.
1. Demon Magic

_~~ Glitchy Heaven: Friends In Need ~~_

_An All Dogs Go to Heaven / SMG4 Crossover Fanfiction_

Disclaimer: The author of this work claims no ownership of the characters or settings depicted herein. All Dogs Go to Heaven and related characters are property of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc. (MGM). SuperMarioGlitchy4 machinimas (Super Mario 64 Bloopers, R64, Guards 'N Retards, etc.) are the creation of Luke Lerdwichagul, using characters devised by Nintendo.

_Prologue: Demon Magic_

_This is a sad story of two fired guards. After screwing their company over, this stupid boy Chris… and the sexy Swagmaster(!) were left to fight in the harsh world…_

A pair of tall, slender men wearing military uniforms were stood outside the walls of an old factory.

On the left was Swagmaster (real name unknown), whose suit was coloured a dark grey. Adjacent to him was his friend Chris, whose clothing was designed with a bluish-white camouflage pattern, intended for snowy environments… much like how it was outside the factory.

"So cold..." Swagmaster groaned as he dropped to his knees and spun around. "Need money… gimme some shelter..."

"Oh, shut up, you idiot!" Chris snapped, using the butt of his AK-47 to nudge his friend in the ribcage. "It's only been one hour since they suspended us!"

"Screw you, Chris. You don't know the pain of being homeless."

Suddenly, a woman wearing a yellow uniform came up to them.

"Aww, you poor babies. Want to come over to my house?"

"What the hell?" Swagmaster yelled back at her. "Did you just call me a baby, bitch?"

He then pulled out a rocket launcher from behind his back and fired it at the ground near her feet, causing the female to flee in terror.

"You see, Christopher? You see the pain I must go through?"

"I swear to God I am gonna murder you in a second!" Chris shouted.

Then…

"Ahahahaha!" came a mysterious voice from nearby. "Hello, boys!"

"What the..." Chris took a step back.

"Holy crap!" Swagmaster exclaimed in a state of delirium. "It's one of those dogs that offer you candy but then shove you in a van. Run, Chris, run!"

"No, not at all." The dog was a Whippet with lavender-coloured fur who wore a black vest, with a pair of dragon's wings sprouting from her back. "I heard about your little predicament. I am here to help. I am your friendly neighbourhood Whippet Angel… Annabelle!"

"Stay back!" Swagmaster took out his own AK-47, his finger resting firmly on the trigger. "I don't want your candy! Stranger danger, stranger danger!"

"Shut up for one second," Chris interrupted before turning towards 'Annabelle'. "Why do you want to help us?"

"Can't a dem-… I mean, _angel_ have any appreciation? I have a promising job opportunity for the two of you."

"Oh?" Swagmaster stepped back as well, lowering his gun. "Please tell me more. I would love to have a job again."

"Swag, no," Chris warned. "I don't trust that bitch. Besides, some angel she looks to be..."

"My my. Sounds like someone needs to rub their tongue with sandpaper."

"Well, you _are_ a female dog… and you do look kinda evil."

"Ahem, anyway," Swag continued. "About that job?"

"Actually, Ms, um, Annabelle," Chris butted in, "I think Swag and I will be fine by ourselves."

"No we won't."

"Swag, shush. I don't think she's telling the truth. If you're that desperate to have a new job then we need to look somewhere else – somewhere where we won't come across any evil dogs."

"Ah, not so fast. One does not simply refuse an offer from Belladonna."

"Wait a minute..." Swag raised an eyebrow. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Now do you get it?" Chris snapped. "She's a faker! That's what I was trying to tell you!"

The two guards could then see that the Whippet was holding a bright red whistle in her right front paw.

"What is that?" Swag gasped as he readied his assault rifle again. "Chris, watch out!"

No sooner had he said that, though, than the sinister dog had put the whistle to her lips and blown, upon which a massive green dragon spirit emerged from the mouth of the instrument.

In time, both of the men were pointing their AK-47s up at the spirit. They opened fire, but the bullets simply sailed through the dragon's gaseous form without causing any damage.

"Mwahahahaha!" Belladonna cackled loudly as the dragon inserted the end of its tail into Swagmaster's ear. The tail went through his brain, then into Chris's ear and through _his_ brain as well. This caused the guards to fall under a spell, their eyes filling with green and yellow concentric bands.

"Yes, O Great and Mighty Belladonna," Chris moaned in a zombie-like tone. "Please tell us more about that job opportunity you mentioned."

"Haha! Perfect!" the demon-dog laughed with glee before blowing the whistle again, sending the dragon spirit back inside it. "Both of you, follow me..." She then turned around and began to lead Swag and Chris away from the factory and deeper into the cold night.


	2. A Vacation With a Difference

_Chapter One: A Vacation With a Difference_

One summer evening, a girl was sat alone at a computer desk in a small room with stained-glass windows in its walls. Staring at the screen while she hunched over in her seat, she wore a white T-shirt coupled with black shorts and boots. For headgear, she had a red beanie hat, goggles, and headphones, and she had orange squid tentacles in place of hair.

The computer screen was displaying a lengthy list of search results, which the girl was gradually scrolling through using the mouse wheel.

Then there came a knock on the door at the end of the short corridor leading out from the room.

"Hello?" the squid-girl turned her head. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Glitchy."

After giving a hefty sigh, the girl reluctantly said, "Okay, come in."

In response, a short, round-bodied man with brown hair and a black moustache strode in. He was clothed in white overalls, a blue shirt, and a cap of the same colour as the shirt with a red letter M on the front. In addition, his hands were clad with white gloves.

"Ah, good evening, Meggy," Glitchy greeted the girl with a wave. When he spoke, it was with a distinctive Australian accent. "Looking for somewhere to go on holiday, I presume?"

"That's correct," Meggy answered, "but I'm not having much luck so far. None of these places interest me."

"I mean, almost everyone else in the castle has found a place to go. There must be _somewhere_ you'd like to go, surely?"

"Ehh…" Meggy shrugged. "I'll keep looking."

"Want me to help?"

"Sure."

Glitchy dragged over a spare chair from the side of the room so that he could sit down as well.

"Okay," he began, "let's go back to the beginning." He pressed and held the Page Up key on the computer keyboard until the search was back at the first result. "So I see you've typed in 'popular holiday destinations'. What's wrong with Isle Delfino?"

"It's too tropical."

"New Donk City?"

"Went there last year."

"Gosh. No offence, Meg, but perhaps you're being a bit too picky here."

After giving Glitchy the side-eye for a few seconds, Meggy put her hand on the mouse again. With a brief flick of the mouse wheel, she brought another screen's worth of results into view.

"Wait a minute," she said, pointing her finger at a thumbnail image of a red bridge. "I didn't notice that one before. San Fran...cis...co?"

"Ah yes, that seems like a nice place. You think you might wanna go there?"

There was another knock on the door.

"Hey, Glitchy, Meggy, you guys in there?"

"Yep!" they both answered.

"I'm gonna be playing some Mario Kart with Mario and Bob!" a green frog-like creature loudly proclaimed as he opened the door. "Wanna join us?"

"Sure," said Glitchy. "I just wanna help Meggy out with something first."

"Nah, it's okay," Meggy responded, "I'll be fine. You go and play with Boopkins."

"Okay then..." Rising from his chair, Glitchy proceeded to leave the room.

o - o - o

Upstairs, the two friends Boopkins had mentioned were sat in front of a large painting of something resembling a spider floating on a watery surface. A Nintendo 64 games console was plugged into the wall, the socket being just next to the lower-left corner of the painting.

"Hey guys!" said Boopkins as he opened the nearby door. "I've brought Glitchy up here to have a game with us. Who's excited?"

"Oh boy!" Mario whooped. He greatly resembled Glitchy, except that his clothes were blue and red instead of white and blue. "That makes me so happy!"

"Let's do this," said Bob, a ghost with glowing green eyes who wore a brown robe. "Time to kick some ass!"

"Ha, with those sword arms of yours?" Boopkins joked, sitting down next to him. "Fat chance!"

Stepping over to the console, Glitchy flicked the power switch, then watched as the image in the painting changed to show a spinning golden Nintendo logo on a black background. A recording of Mario's voice saying "_Welcome to Mario Kart!_" then played as the title screen came into view.

o - o - o

Meanwhile, in the computer room, Meggy was busy doing research into the new place she had discovered.

"Hm, what's this?" she muttered as she read the information on the screen. "So it's a city in northern California… the thirteenth most populous in the United States, huh? Let me see here..."

She scrolled down, thus bringing a list of attractions into view: the Golden Gate Bridge and Park, Union Square, Fisherman's Wharf, and so on.

_Wow, this place looks amazing,_ Meggy thought. _So how do I get there?_

Minimising the browser window, she then studied the selection of icons on the desktop screen. The squid-girl moved the mouse over to one that was labelled 'Painting Control Panel' and double-clicked, bringing up a grey pop-up window featuring a range of text boxes and drop-down menus.

_Oh gosh, this looks complicated. Wait, there's a search feature. Lemme try it…_

She clicked in the box and started typing. She only had to go as far as 'San Fr-' before a large number of suggested locations appeared. None of them had images, so Meggy simply chose the first one.

Then another window appeared: 'Please specify a painting number,' it read, below which was another box to type in.

_What's this now? Maybe I should try my lucky number?_

She typed the number eleven into the box and pressed the enter key…

o - o - o

Back upstairs, the four friends – Mario, Glitchy, Boopkins, and Bob – were all sat on the floor, each of them holding a controller in their hands… well, in Bob's case, he was awkwardly using the tips of his sword-arms to press the buttons and move the analog stick. The track that they were racing on was a road in a figure-of-eight shape, with all manner of traffic vehicles hurtling towards them. Glitchy (playing as Yoshi, a green dinosaur-like being) was far out in front, while the others were experiencing great difficulty in negotiating their way through the endless onslaught of cars, trucks, and buses. In fact, Mario (playing as himself) was able to derive more enjoyment from ramming into the vehicles on purpose.

"No, Mario, what are you doing?" Boopkins said loudly. "I get that Toad's Turnpike on Extra Mode is super hard, but you'll never win if you keep doing that!"

"But this is fun!" the red 'Fat Italian' answered, before making aeroplane noises as he repeatedly drove into the fence at the side of the track. "Wheeeeee!"

"Oh yeah, bitches!" Bob yelled as Mario's fooling around allowed him to sail past. "Looks like I won't be finishing in last place for once. Choo choo, mother-..." He then collided head-first into a yellow bus. "Oh crap!"

"C'mon, slowcoaches," said Glitchy as he rounded the final corner. "Is that all you've got?"

But then, just as his Yoshi was about to cross the finish line, the painting became blank.

"Wait, what?" Boopkins gasped. "What happened?"

Getting up, the Spike stepped over to the painting and tapped on the frame.

"Careful," Glitchy advised, "I think there might be something wrong with the painting network. Don't get..."

Suddenly, a mysterious force started to pull Boopkins into the painting.

"Oh no… _Heeeeelp!_"

"… sucked in. Don't worry, Fishy, I'll get you out of there!" Glitchy ran over, grabbing on to Boopkins's legs.

"Oh, brother," Mario sighed. "What do we do, Bob?"

"Well, you two could help me out here for a start," Glitchy answered. "Quick, now my feet are lifting off the ground as well! Grab 'em!"

"Aaaah!" Mario yelled as he ran over, before gripping Glitchy's ankles in his gloved hands.

"But what about me?" Bob asked. "I don't have hands! I would end up cutting you if I tried to grab on..."

"Wait, I've got an idea," Glitchy responded. "Bob, I want you to go down to the computer room and ask Meggy to disable this painting. It's number eleven!"

"Got it!" The ghost then left the room through the nearest door, taking him to the spiral staircase leading down to the foyer.

At the bottom of the stairs, Bob was surprised to see Meggy walking towards him.

"Oh, there you are," he said. "Glitchy told me he wants you to get back in the computer room."

"What? Why?"

"Boopkins is getting sucked into one of the paintings. Do you know how to shut it off?"

"Oh gosh. Which painting?"

"Number eleven, he said."

Upon hearing that, the squid-girl froze in shock.

"What is it?" the ghost asked.

"Oh no… oh no no no no!"

Before long, both Meggy and Bob were in the computer room. The squid-girl was frantically looking around the screen for any sort of 'disable painting' option.

"What did you do anyway?" Bob enquired.

"I used this program to try and open up a portal so I could go on a vacation. I'm so sorry, I should've asked Glitchy for permission first. He might have shown me how to use it properly..."

"… And you set it to use painting number eleven? Why?"

"Because it's my lucky number. I didn't realise that was the one you were using to play games on!"

Bob sighed. "So how do you… y'know, close the portal?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Wait! What's that?"

Meggy then came across what she was looking for – a small button showing a portrait with a red cross laid over it. When she clicked it, it brought up a text box for her to type the number into…

Unfortunately, by that time, Boopkins was already completely inside the portal. In addition, Glitchy was in there from the knees up, with Mario still on the outside holding on to his ankles.

"Can you still hear me, Mario?" Glitchy shouted, turning his head to the side. "Are your feet still on the ground?"

"Just about!" came the reply. In fact, only the toes of Mario's shoes were still touching the floor.

"Come on! Keep pulling!"

But it was no use. No matter how hard he tried, Mario could not get his friends back out of the painting. Then, just as his hands were about to disappear through it, the canvas turned solid, forcing him to let go. The man in red was sent flying backwards until he hit the opposite wall, leaving him in a daze.

About a minute later, Bob came back, this time with Meggy in tow.

"Holy crap," the brown-robed ghost gasped. "Mario, are you okay?"

"Ohhhhh..." Mario groaned as he came to. "Bob? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. Where are the others?"

Mario allowed a few moments to compose himself before answering: "They both got sucked in."

"Damn it..." Bob then turned to face Meggy. "Now what?"

The squid-girl slowly stepped up to the painting, which was now completely grey, signifying that it was not currently operational. "Don't worry, guys. I'll think of something."


	3. Small Man and an Alien

_Chapter Two: Small Man and an Alien_

Somewhere in the city of San Francisco, a pair of dogs were sat at a table outside a fancy restaurant. Beside the table was a large, red parasol which helped to shield the canines from the setting sun. Each of the dogs had a ten-inch pizza on their plate; the female of the couple had hers topped with tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil – thus making it a Margherita. Her partner's pizza, on the other hand, was a 'meat feast' sporting minced beef, slices of sausage (in place of pepperoni), and diced ham.

"Mmm… smells delicious," the female, an Irish Setter, began as she picked up her knife and fork. "Hopefully this one won't fatten me up as much as yours will do you."

"I mean, if you're that concerned about putting on weight," the male dog responded, "then perhaps you should consider saying yes more often when I ask you to go on walks with me."

"Pah! You think you're so funny, don't you?" the Setter retorted just as she was cutting a piece off the end of her first slice. "Charlie, you cheeky sod..."

"Trust me, Sasha, I'll be doing plenty of walking once I've got all this in my belly." Charlie then used his paws to pick up a slice of his own pizza before chomping off half of it in a single bite.

"Eurgh, stop being disgusting. Use your knife and fork!"

"Nah, that's too boring."

"… And now you're talking with your mouth full, which is even worse."

This time, the male dog made sure to finish his mouthful before replying. "Actually, better than walking, we could go inside the restaurant and dance to all that funky disco music they've got playing in there. What do you say to that, eh?"

Sasha had had to let out a very deep sigh in order to avoid losing her temper. Slumping back in her seat, she finally had an opportunity to put that first morsel of pizza in her mouth.

"Well let me tell you this, Shepherd-boy," the Setter answered. "I wouldn't push my luck if I were you."

o - o - o

_Somewhere in a parallel dimension…_

Fishy Boopkins was yelling in terror as he and Glitchy travelled through what appeared to be an endless tunnel of swirling purple wind, with distorted images of various paintings appearing amongst the swirls.

"Where are we going, Glitch?" the Spike sobbed as he tumbled around helplessly. "I think I'm getting travel sickness!"

"I have a feeling Meggy might have accidentally opened a portal to that place I helped her find on my computer… now what was it called? San-something?"

"Ooh-er… watch out!"

Shortly after saying that, Boopkins gave a violent cough, which was then followed by a miniature spiky metal ball being spat out of his mouth. Glitchy, thinking quickly, dodged to the side, allowing the ball to sail past him before disappearing into the gusty void.

"That was close," the man in white and blue commented. "Perhaps I should go in front, in case you do that again." He then tucked in his arms so that he could pull ahead.

"Sorry!" Boopkins cried. "I just get sick really easily sometimes. Not like I can help it!"

Some minutes later, Glitchy could see the end of the tunnel approaching, which from his position appeared as little more than a small disc of white light. In an attempt to slow down, he spread out his limbs while advising Boopkins to do the same. Then, once the exit was only seconds away, they both braced themselves for impact by curling up into balls.

The two friends then came flying out from a window in the side of a butcher's shop, proceeding to bounce across the road until they crashed into the side wall of the building opposite.

"Ooofff..." Boopkins groaned as he gradually backed away before rising to his feet. "You all right, Glitch?"

"_Rrmmph,_" came the muffled response.

That was when the Spike turned to the side and noticed that his friend's head had become embedded in the wall. With some assistance from Boopkins, Glitchy was able to free himself by pushing against the wall with his gloved hands.

"This place sure looks… different," Boopkins observed, allowing himself a few seconds to survey his surroundings. "Was this the same place you were thinking of, Glitch?"

"I can't tell yet. If this indeed San-something-or-other, then there should be a red bridge somewhere."

"Hmm..." Boopkins looked up at a sign that was hanging outside a nearby store. "Like that one?" He then pointed it out so Glitchy could see it as well.

"Ah yes, that's what it looked like. So where do we go from here?"

"Ehhh… I don't know about you, but I could do with some fast food right about now."

The pair then set off in search of a meal. However, unbeknownst to them, someone had been spying on them through a pair of binoculars from the roof of a hotel a few blocks down – a brown, bespectacled Schnoodle he was.

"Argh, shucks," he muttered to himself before stuffing the binoculars into a satchel bag. "The bawss ain't gonna like this at all. I better move." The canine then proceeded to slink away.

o - o - o

A quarter of an hour passed. Back at the pizzeria, Charlie had now finished his meal and was gently patting his stomach, whereas his partner had so far only eaten a third of hers.

"Hey, Sash," the German Shepherd Dog (technically he was a mixed-breed, but that was what he primarily was) spoke. "Need some help with that?"

"Oh, come on, you must be full!" the Setter snapped back, setting down her fork for a moment to glare at him with her bright green eyes. "You greedy boy. I'm managing perfectly well, thank you very much."

Charlie was about to say more, but was interrupted by the sight of the brown dog approaching him.

_Oh, great,_ he thought. _Here comes trouble._

"Ah, of course – where there's pizza, there's a Barkin," the sinister canine smiled.

"Evening, Killer..." Charlie greeted him reluctantly. "What brings you here?"

"I've been meaning to ask you something: you wouldn't happen to have seen a small man and an alien wandering around, would you?"

Both Charlie and Sasha were left feeling highly bemused by that question.

"What sort of alien?" the Shepherd asked.

"Yeah," Sasha agreed, "and by 'small man' I presume you mean a boy? A human boy, I mean."

"A green alien," Killer answered. "Some sort of weird frog-looking thing. Uh, and no, Sasha – when I say man, I mean man. Small, meaning… how should I put this… vertically challenged?"

"Nnn-nope," Charlie responded once he had taken a moment to think. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Hmmm. Perhaps you should mention them next time you talk to your bawss. She might know. Toodles." With that, Killer slowly crept away.

"… My boss might know," the Shepherd-dog muttered to himself after about ten seconds of dead air. "What could he have possibly meant by that?"

"Beats me," said Sasha. "Unless the small man is someone Annabelle has met… but how would Killer know that?"

Suddenly, there came a faint voice in the distance…

"_Oh no! Heeeeeelp!_"

"Hoo boy," said Charlie, jumping out of his seat. "Looks like someone could use a little divine intervention!"

"Great," Sasha sighed, watching as her partner ran off. "Now you're gonna get..."

"Eeyargh!"

"… cramps…"

Normally the Setter would have followed after him, but a quick glance up at the restaurant's signboard reminded her how unwise that would have been – this was Dino's Pizzeria, and the Neapolitan Mastiff didn't take kindly to customers who left their tables unattended.

Fighting through the stitch in his side, Charlie rushed in the direction that the yelling was coming from. This took him around the corner on to a dimly-lit street where he came across the entrance to a small alleyway.

"Hey!" he shouted, sticking his neck out so that he could peer inside. "What's going on in there?"

"Ha ha!" Killer laughed back at him. "Too late, Barkin!" In his right paw, he was holding Glitchy aloft by the collar of his shirt, while in his left he had Boopkins by the tuft of blue hair on his head.

"Too late?" the Shepherd retorted. "I beg to differ — there'll be no small men or aliens being kidnapped on my watch, bucko."

"Friend of yours?" Glitchy cockily turned his head towards the devious Schnoodle.

"Heh! Some friend he is. Don't listen to him – I'm just taking you two to meet your new bawss!"

"So..." Charlie resumed. "Are we gonna have to do this the hard way, then?"

"Hmm, I don't know. I'll try asking the frog!" Killer proceeded to violently shake Boopkins up and down.

"Aaaahhh! No hard way! No hard way!"

"Oops, I don't think that's the right answer..."

"Uuuurrrgh… I don't feel so good!"

_Of course,_ Glitchy thought. "Boopkins, think about maggot cheese, now!"

"What? No, that's disgusting!"

"Do it!"

With great reluctance, Boopkins imagined himself eating from a bowl that was filled to the brim with hot, bubbling, fly-larva-infested cheese. This caused him to chuck up a spiky ball, which landed directly on top of Killer's foot.

"Eeeeeyow!"

The sheer pain caused the Schnoodle to drop both of his captives on the ground. Once he had dragged his hind-paw out from underneath the sharp sphere, he clutched it while hopping around on his other foot.

"Now's our chance, guys," Charlie said to Glitchy and Boopkins. "C'mon!"

"You okay, Fishy?" the man in white and blue asked.

"Hnnnggg..." came the response.

"No worries, mate, I'll carry you."

It had taken a few minutes for the Shepherd-dog to return to the pizzeria, this time with two new companions in tow.

"I'm back," he said to Sasha. "Missed me?"

"Sorely," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hmm, I take it those two are the guys Killer was talking about?"

"Sure seems like it. On the way here, they told me that they came from far away and they didn't have anywhere to stay for the night. That is, until now."

"One question," the Setter asked. "Your place or mine?"

"Mine, of course."

_Thank God,_ she thought. Although she dared not show it, Sasha was quite put off by the sight of Boopkins. She wouldn't have wanted… _whatever the heck he was_ making a mess in her café.

"Anyway," Charlie resumed, "you coming too?"

"Hah! Fat chance, Shepherd-boy. Besides, aren't you forgetting something important?"

"Like what?"

"You know..." As she said this, she used her foot to nudge something under the table while casting her eyes towards the front window of the restaurant. Dino was there…

The Shepherd gulped. "Oh, right. Wait there, guys, I'll only be a minute." He stepped through the gap in the railings, then over to the table so that he could pull out his sack of bones from underneath.

"Keep the change," he said to the Mastiff once he had dragged it inside.

o - o - o

It was quite a long walk to Charlie's apartment from Dino's, so to help pass the time, he decided to have a chat with Glitchy and Boopkins.

"So how did you guys get here anyway?" the Shepherd asked.

"Well, it's a long story," Glitchy began, "but Fishy and I ended up being sucked into a portal which brought us here."

"Hmm..." Charlie hesitated as he thought:

_A portal, huh? What was it that Killer said again?_

The Schnoodle's voice echoed in his head:

_Perhaps you should mention them next time you talk to your bawss. She might know._

"Say, Glitch. Do the names 'Anna' or 'Belle' mean anything to you, by any chance?"

"Erm, nope. Why would they?"

_Darn. He's not getting it. Lemme try something different…_

"Are you usually cautious around mirrors?"

"I mean, I wouldn't want to break one. Seven years' bad luck, and all that. But no, I'm not afraid of strange reflections or anything..."

_Great,_ Charlie thought. He was even more confused now than he had been before.

"Are you feeling all right, Charlie?" Boopkins asked. "You're not making a lot of sense to me right now."

"Well, uh, perhaps once you've known me long enough, you might get it..."

Although the Spike was not a fan of that response, he decided not to press the issue further.

"Anyway," Glitchy interceded, hoping that a change of subject would dispel the awkwardness. "Why don't we tell Charlie about the others from back home, Boopkins?"

"Ehh… sure, why not?"

The two friends proceeded to let their new acquaintance know about all of their friends who often stayed with them at Peach's Castle – not only did they mention Bob, Mario, and Meggy, but they also talked about those who were on their holidays: Luigi, Mario's brother; Peach, the princess who owned the castle; Toad, Peach's loyal servant; Saiko, the girlfriend of Boopkins (who technically wasn't on vacation because she was staying in her native country of Japan for the summer); Shroomy, a boy scout; and Tari, a girl who was an avid fan of video games.

"Wow, they sound like a real fun bunch," Charlie commented, just as the trio came up to the front door of the apartment complex. "I kinda wish I had that many friends..."

A short while later, Charlie, Glitchy, and Boopkins were walking side-by-side down the corridor leading to Charlie's place.

"Okay guys," the Shepherd-dog whispered, "I need you two to stand over there and not step forward until I say so." On the word _there_ he pointed to a specific spot on the floor. Charlie knew that his friend would likely be spooked when he saw the new arrivals, so he wanted to keep any potential shock to a minimum.

Once Glitchy and his Spike companion were in position, Charlie rapped on the door. _Shave and a haircut, two bits._

"Hello?" came a Brooklyn-accented voice from inside. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Charlie," came the reply.

"Just making sure. Come in."

The Shepherd reached up to twist the handle before gently pushing the door inwards, upon which a chocolate-and-tan Dachshund appeared in the doorway.

"Hi, Itch."

"Welcome back. So you survived your date, I see?"

"Well, that's one way of putting it."

The short-legged dog hummed. "That doesn't sound very reassuring. Did something go wrong?"

"If you count ol' Killy-boy deciding to get up to no good and interrupt my time with Sasha, then sure."

"Huh?" 'Itch' was left feeling bemused by the mention of that name. "What was _he_ doing there? I'd have thought Dino wouldn't have liked his kind loitering around."

"You see, Itch, he was just passing by at first… trying to look for these guys."

Charlie then subtly motioned for his two new friends to step forward, which was shortly followed by the Dachshund slowly emerging from the apartment.

When 'Itch' saw Boopkins, his pupils almost immediately shrank to the size of pinholes, after which his mouth gradually dropped open.

"Uh..." the green-skinned creature meekly waved his hand. "Hi, I'm Fishy Boop-..."

"Aaaagghhh!"

"Itchy, easy!" said Charlie, being careful not to speak too loudly as his friend scurried back inside. "Don't wanna disturb the neighbours..."

The German Shepherd cross then turned to face Boopkins.

"You'll have to excuse me a moment. My buddy gets scared easily, you see." He proceeded to enter the apartment himself.

"Wh-wh-what was that th-th-thing?" Itchy shuddered. "That m-m-monster..."

"It's okay, Itch, trust me," Charlie consoled him, placing one paw over the Dachshund's red cap. "He's harmless." _Well, as long as you don't make him sick, at least._

It had taken longer than he had initially expected, but Charlie had eventually managed to explain everything.

"You okay now, buddy?"

Itchy nodded.

"Then why not get out there and say hello, eh?"

So the Dachshund re-emerged, albeit with some reluctance.

"H-hi..." he said to Boopkins, holding out a paw for him to shake.

"Hi, Itchy," the Spike responded, accepting the handshake. "I hope you won't mind if Glitchy and I stay here tonight. We wouldn't want to be sleeping rough, you know?"

"No, not at all." As Itchy said that, he very nearly began to cry tears of joy. He then proceeded to shake hands with Glitchy as well.

Suddenly, a faint rumbling noise could be heard.

"Oh, sorry, that was me," Boopkins murmured. "Gosh, that's right, I haven't eaten in a while."

"No problem," the Dachshund answered. "If you guys go into the kitchen, there should be some bread in the bread-bin and some ham in the refrigerator."

"Ah, nice," said Glitchy as he and his Spike friend strode over in that direction. "Sandwiches, here we come!"

Before long, everyone save for Charlie was sat on the sofa in the lounge, watching television. Glitchy and Boopkins were each holding a ham sandwich in one hand, and a small plate in the other to catch the crumbs. As for the Shepherd cross, he was laying down on the rug.

"Eeyargh!" Itchy yelped, as the screen displayed a black-and-white scene of a gigantic tarantula preparing to devour a human woman who had been caught in his web. "Change the channel, change the channel!"

Thinking quickly, Boopkins put down his sandwich for a moment so that he could grab the remote. He proceeded to press the 'next channel' button until the picture changed to show a pack of racing cars roaring around a floodlit, oval-shaped circuit.

"That's more what I'm talking about," Glitchy remarked. "Hey Charlie, why don't you come up here and join us?"

"Nahhh. I don't know about you guys, but I am bushed." He then rolled over on to his back.

"Too much pizza weighing you down?" Itchy commented, winking as he noticed his friend's stuffed belly. Not even two seconds later, however, he was greeted with the sight of the Shepherd-dog glaring him in the face.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, um, uhh..."

"Ha ha! Got you there, didn't I?" Charlie then removed the Dachshund's hat so that he could rub the top of his head with his knuckles. "Fair point though, I really oughta hit the hay."

True to his word, the Shepherd tiredly dragged himself off to his bedroom.

"See you all in the morning, I guess..."


	4. A Change of Style

_Chapter 3: A Change of Style_

Charlie suddenly found himself laying on his front on something that was soft and pink. Rearing his head, he allowed himself a moment to survey his new surroundings – the surface beneath him was puffy like a cumulus cloud, and it was suspended in the air by the branch of a gigantic tree. In fact, looking around, the great plant had many such branches, each of which had its own rosy little cloud on the end.

Then the German Shepherd mix could hear a munching sound coming from somewhere nearby. Swivelling his ears towards it, he could detect that it was approaching him from below and to the side. To his surprise, the branch immediately anti-clockwise from his own was rising up the trunk until they were both at the same level. When the other branch came to a stop, it was abrupt enough such that the dog who was laying on it was thrown a few centimetres into the air for a brief moment.

"Oh, there you are, Charlie," she said. "Have you tried any of this stuff yet? It's absolutely scrumptious, let me tell you."

"… Sasha?" Charlie responded. "What are you doing here?" Red hair, green eyes… it was her all right. Glancing down at her paw, he could see that she was holding a small piece of cloud.

"Go on. Try it." She then resumed eating.

With quite some reluctance, the Shepherd lowered his head before chomping off a mouthful of his own cloud.

"Tastes like candy floss, doesn't it?" the Setter continued.

"No?" Charlie answered, his mouth still half-full. "It takes like… well, it doesn't taste like anything, really."

"Hmm, that's odd. Maybe there's more flavour in the centre?"

Charlie turned around and took another bite, this time from the spot Sasha had advised him to try.

"Nope. Still can't taste anything."

"You're joking, right?"

"No, honestly!"

"Then try digging deeper, perhaps."

So the male dog kept going…

"Oh, by the way," Sasha went on, "have you mentioned the new guys to your boss yet?"

"What's that? Oh yes, I'll get around to it." Charlie's response was greatly muffled, however.

Then when he reached the bottom, it made a hole, and he started to fall through…

Charlie woke in his bed with a start. Once he had waited a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he could see that his pillow and bed sheet were riddled with scratch marks.

_Stupid dream…_ he thought. Reaching over to the alarm clock which rested atop his bedside cabinet, he pressed the button on top so that the face of it lit up. Half past two, it read.

_Typical. Then again, this does seem like a good opportunity for me to get around to… that._

With that, the Shepherd rose from his bed, before beginning to tip-toe his way over to the bathroom.

"Where do you think… you're going?" came a groan from nearby.

Charlie froze in place, staring out from the corner of his eye towards the other bed in the room. The Dachshund who occupied it was stretching his legs as he then gave a loud snore.

"Mean old… Mister Badger..."

_Phew,_ Charlie thought, noticing that Itchy's eyes had stayed closed the whole time. _There he goes, talking in his sleep again…_

The Shepherd then crept past Glitchy and Boopkins, who were sleeping on a pair of bean-bags which were, quite conveniently, coloured blue and green. Fortunately, neither of them rustled about as he passed.

Charlie then reached for the bathroom door, twisting the handle before slowly pulling it open. The hinge made a small creak… still, no one moved. Then he slipped inside, closed the door carefully behind him, and pulled the cord to turn on the light. Once that was done, he panted while holding his chest with one paw, before gently stepping over to the sink and looking in the mirror.

Charlie waited a few moments, but nothing happened at first. He decided to whisper as loudly as he dared:

"Psst, Ms Annabelle. It's me, Charlie. You there?"

A few more seconds passed before the Shepherd's reflection was replaced with the image of a pink Whippet.

"Goodness, Charles, what brings you here at this time of night? Is something the matter?"

"Oh, just a silly dream that woke me up."

"Hm? About whom?" Annabelle then leant forward, narrowing her eyes slightly. "A-hem, I mean, what about?"

"Me and Sasha, in a tree, eating cloud candy floss."

The Whippet giggled briefly before replying, "Candy floss made by yours truly, perhaps?"

"I don't know..."

"Oh yes, that reminds me – how was your date with Miss La Fleur? I take it you were on your _best_ behaviour, correct?" On the word that she stressed, her halo shone slightly more brightly.

"Umm, ahh… well, you see..." Charlie's face twisted itself into a most awkward grimace.

"Oh dear – seems like someone wasn't being very angelic!"

"D'ohhh..." the Shepherd groaned, clapping a paw to his face, and that's when he remembered what he was there for in the first place. "Not to change the subject, but I did save a couple of guys from being Killer-napped. They told me their names were Super Mario Glitchy 4 and Fishy Boopkins. You wouldn't happen to know them, would you?"

"I can't say I do," Annabelle responded. "Are they canine?"

"Well, no. One of them is a human man, a little bit on the short side, and the other one is… _sigh_… some sort of alien frog?"

"Then I'm afraid I can't help you, Charles."

Disappointed, Charlie stepped back from the mirror. Once the two dogs had bid each other goodnight, the Whippet faded from view, followed by the Shepherd switching off the light before making his way back to his bed.

o – o – o

"Hey, Charlie… wake up."

Some hours after his return to sleep, the Shepherd mix could feel that his left front paw was being pulled on.

"Not now, Boopkins," Charlie answered, lazily opening one eye and looking down off the side of the bed. "I still need more of my beauty sleep."

"No – this is important. Itchy says it's something you might wanna see. Actually, let me rephrase that – it's something you _need_ to see!"

Charlie groaned. "All right, all right, just give me a sec." He then took back his paw, giving a deep yawn before sluggishly climbing down to the floor. "What time is it anyway?"

"It's nine a.m.," the Spike responded. "Come on, man, or you'll miss it!"

Before long, the Shepherd and Spike were walking briskly into the lounge of the apartment. The first thing Charlie noticed was that the television was showing a news programme; most of the screen was taken up by grainy, low-frame-rate CCTV footage, with an inset of the newsreaders discussing the images being shown in the lower-left corner as an assortment of less-relevant headlines scrolled past on the ticker-tape.

"Great," Charlie sighed, dashing over so that he could take his place on the sofa to the left of Itchy and Glitchy. "What is it this time – vandalism, robbery, arson?"

"The second one," the Dachshund answered. "Ooh, ooh, they've gone back to the beginning of the footage – watch closely now!"

So Charlie did. The pictures showed the interior of what appeared to be a bank, with a pair of men clothed in military uniforms, and holding empty sacks and revolvers, rushing in through the front doors. Approximately half a minute later, they came back out, this time with their sacks full. For a brief moment, something, or rather, _someone_ was visible in the doorway as the men exited, at which point the hosts paused the footage in the hope that it would make the figure easier to identify.

"Wait… isn't that…?" Charlie said, narrowing his eyes. The image was not very clear, but he could make out a few vital details.

"Yup," Itchy replied, almost as though he had read his friend's mind.

"Actually, hold on. If that's meant to be Cee-Cee, then who were those other two guys?"

"Those," Glitchy chimed in, "were Swagmaster and Chris. I thought that they were still working as guards down in that old spaghetti factory back home, but now it seems they've had to turn to crime."

"The thing is, though," Boopkins, who was now sat to the right of Glitchy, joined in, "how did they end up in this city too?" Needless to say it was quite cramped on that sofa.

No one knew the answer to that question.

"So you two know that dog?" Glitchy asked the canines after about ten seconds of dead air.

"Trust me," Charlie responded, "it's a long story."

"So what are we waiting for?" said Itchy. "We need to get down to the curio shop, and fast."

Thus, without further ado, they all left the room.

o – o – o

It had taken about fifteen minutes for the group of males to jog as far as a place that Charlie knew well – a café for dogs. In fact, more precisely, only he and Glitchy had made it up to the main entrance; they had had to stop and wait for their slower friends to catch up.

"Come on, slowcoaches!" the man in blue and white called back, waving.

"Aw, give Itch a break," Charlie told him sternly, placing his paw on Glitchy's shoulder. "He's only got short legs."

"Ah, sorry," Glitchy responded. He then apologised a second time, but a bit louder so that the Dachshund could hear.

"Shh, not so loud," the Shepherd-dog then warned, taking back his paw so that he could put one finger to his lips. "Or the lady-friend might hear..."

Not even a second after he had said that, however, Charlie's ears were pricked up by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

_Oh snap_, he thought. With a great deal of reluctance, he slowly turned his head to face the front gateway of the eatery.

"Ah, so you're still being a cheeky sod, I see."

Charlie gasped the name of the one who had spoken, just as Itchy and Boopkins arrived at the scene.

"Oh gosh, I, uh, hadn't seen you there… he-heh," the Shepherd said nervously, his cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "How's it going, eh?"

"I am very disappointed in you, Bark-boy. The sheer level of immaturity you displayed last night was highly unbecoming of a gentle-hound taking a lady out to dinner."

Charlie's face fell, his heart sinking like a stone that had been dropped into a vat of crude oil.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? My boss told me she's disappointed too. Hey, tell you what, how about once the boys and I are done with this mission we're going on, I take you down to that buffet place..."

Before he could finish, however, Sasha used one of her front paws to firmly clasp his mouth shut.

"I don't wanna hear it," she said after tutting a few times. "The only mission you'll be going on today is Operation: Help Sasha Out. Fourth of July's coming up, so this place is going to get very busy – and besides, you need to be taught a lesson."

"But, but..." Charlie tried to protest, shaking his head in an effort to loosen the Setter's grip.

"No, no buts. I haven't got time for this nonsense. Now come on!"

With that, Sasha escorted the Shepherd-dog over to the bar.

"Great," Itchy sighed after he, Glitchy, and Boopkins had witnessed the exchange between the canine couple. "Now what?"

"I guess we'll just have to go on without him..." Boopkins answered.

"Fishy's right," Glitchy admitted. "So Itchy, how are we gonna go about getting disguises? Boopkins and I wouldn't want the guards to recognise us."

The Dachshund allowed himself a moment to think, before replying, "There should be a trunk with some clothing in it in the storage room. I'll take you in there, but we'll have to be quiet, okay?"

"Sure thing," the human male answered.

Itchy took the others around to the rear of the café, where there was a door with a wooden walkway leading up to it. Once the three of them reached the top of the ramp, the Dachshund carefully opened the door before looking inside. As soon as he had made sure that there was no one else in there, he beckoned for Glitchy and Boopkins to follow him.

On a rug in the centre of the room, there was a medium-sized trunk, just as Itchy had expected. He opened the lid to find a vast assortment of garments and accessories, which in his imagination appeared to glow like gold in a pirate's treasure chest.

"Jackpot," he whispered. "All right, guys, let's dig in."

The first thing to be withdrawn from the trunk was something that was long, pink, and fluffy.

"What's this?" Glitchy asked, attempting to place it around his neck. "Hey Boopkins, I wonder if I should go as a girl?"

"Oh no," Itchy warned, "I wouldn't wear that boa if I were you – it belongs to Sasha, and I don't think she would like it if..."

"Okay, okay. I've got a better idea, actually."

Once Glitchy had put the boa back, the three males spent a couple of minutes sifting through the trunk. By the end, Itchy was holding a blue waistcoat, along with a fedora of the same colour with a small, light-blue feather tucked into the sweatband; Glitchy had found a black pair of shorts (he had not been able to find any overalls) and a pair of sunglasses; lastly, Boopkins had dug up a brown rag large enough to envelop his entire body, plus a pair of green goggles.

"Okay guys, no peeking," said Itchy, upon which they all turned to face away from each other so that they could change. Once they were done, the Dachshund and the human deposited their green T-shirt, red cap, and white overalls inside the trunk, before finally closing the lid.

"So who are you guys going as then?" the sausage-dog resumed.

"Ha ha," Glitchy laughed quietly as he turned towards Boopkins. "Do I look like Three yet?"

"Ehh, close enough, I guess," the Spike responded. "Anyway, Itchy, I'm a Garo now." He then lowered his voice to a whisper so that he could say "Hello you sexy bitches," in an imitation of Bob's voice.

"All right, I see," Itchy answered. Of course, he didn't know who 'Three' was, or what a Garo was, but still made an effort not to appear completely clueless.

The Dachshund then stepped over to a nearby mirror so that he could study his own reflection.

"Darn," he sighed. "I dunno, I feel like Fatso and Stinky – uh, I mean, Carface and Killer will still recognise me. Hmmm..." He then cupped one paw under his chin.

"Would putting more layers on help?" Boopkins asked.

"Actually," Itchy replied after a few seconds, "I think I've got a better idea than that. But you and Glitch will need to stay here, okay?"

"Okay..." The Spike did give him a sceptical look, but it could not easily be seen through the green lenses of the goggles and the shade offered by the rag.

Stepping outside, Itchy then made his way to the nearest bus stop. Positioning himself in front of the glass pane in the side of the stop's shelter, he allowed himself a moment to clear his throat, before giving a hefty bark: "_Ruff, ruff, rrr-ruff!_"

A few seconds later, the image of Annabelle appeared in the glass.

"Is there a problem, Mr Itchiford?" the pink Whippet responded… before noticing his clothing. "Good heavens! You look as though you've joined the mob."

"No need to panic, it's just a disguise," the Dachshund replied, "but I don't think it'll be good enough to fool the bad dogs. Seems like it didn't fool you, even."

"To be fair, I did recognise you by the sound of your bark. But yes, I agree, simply wearing a waistcoat and a fedora just won't do. I presume you were about to ask me for one of… these?"

During the pause between those last two words, Annabelle raised her right front paw, which then lit up with a soft pink glow.

"Oh yes, that's right," Itchy answered.

"I trust that you will put this Miracle to good use. Perhaps if it were Charles in your position, I might have thought twice..." She then giggled, using her other paw to shield her mouth.

"Of course I'll use it well – I'm gonna make myself a whole new dog!"

The Dachshund then stood up on his hind legs, using his front limbs to support himself against the side of the bus shelter so that he could press his nose against the glass. The Whippet proceeded to move her right paw down towards the spot that Itchy's nose was touching, upon which the glow transferred over.

"Gee, thanks!" the Dachshund said once he was on all fours again, the end of his muzzle twitching from side to side. "Um, I mean, thank you very much, Ms Annabelle."

"You're welcome," came the response, before the image of the pink Whippet disappeared from the window in a web of lightning.

After taking in a deep breath, Itchy pressed two fingers against his nose, causing the Miracle to activate. The colouration of his fur then gradually changed from chocolate and tan, to black and tan, with the hair on his ears, body, and tail growing longer and thicker.

"Ha ha!" he laughed to himself once the transformation was completed. He propped himself up again…

"Wow," he remarked, in awe of his own reflection. "Who's this handsome dev-… uhhh, angel, then?" He quickly cupped both paws over his mouth upon realising that his accent was now more Ballina than Brooklyn.

Meanwhile, back in the storage room of the café, Glitchy and Boopkins were standing near the back door. Both of them were tapping their feet as they waited, with the human member of the pair whistling a tune.

"What's taking him so long?" Boopkins quietly grumbled, but only ten seconds later the door swung open.

"Hey guys, let's go," Itchy simply said as he peeked inside.

"Whoa, what the…" the man and Spike gasped in unison, taking a step back before they recognised the blue clothing of the dog.

"Itchy?" Glitchy raised an eyebrow. "Is that you? You look… different."

"Of course it's me, Glitch… or should I say, 'Three'?" the Dachshund replied with a wink.

Glitchy smiled in appreciation before tapping Boopkins on the shoulder, upon which the trio all left to continue on their journey.


End file.
